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Friday, September 24, 2004

Genome, geez!

About Three Quarters of a Million Residents of Florida East Coast Urged to Flee Hurricane Jeanne, geez! The Associated Press, again.

Tonight as hurricane Jeanne takes a bead on our eastern coast,thousands are urged to evacuate, go figure! Not since 1856 have four great storms invaded Florida in one season and in less than 6 weeks at that, consequently, the "geez" portion of our headline.

Suddenly today I remembered Dean Hamer's new opus The God Gene. Hamer also authored another classic the Gay Gene, well be still my heart. If genes can account for God and genes can make you gay then why not envision genes that can get your ass kicked by a hurricane; The Hurricane Gene.

Now, while I'm not a geneticist and I don't have the genome code stored anywhere on my desk-top, although it's probably imprinted somewhere nearby, I have a fair understanding of the root science which prevails; hey, I have a degree in English Literature for Christ's sake! Anyway, I figured that if God can plan to make us gay or devout why not give us a gene to make us live in Florida? I mean, if he/she wanted to, he/she could give us a gene that said we had to live in California, I suspect that would be called the earthquake-McSchwarzenegger gene.

Anyway, I have survived 3 or 42 of these storms, I'm not sure, and I'm grateful. I seem to have a gene which, according to my reading of Hamer's genetic protocol, makes me a survivor, not the TV type but rather, you know, the disaster type and so I wanted, on the eve of our fourth hurricane this season, to go on-record with the theory that jeans, not genes, control our fate and if you are foolish enough to take up residence in Florida you better have good jeans (genes).